What my mother taught me ...

Thanks for the idea from
OneTiredMamma and Irish Church Lady

oh wait, I am Irish Church Lady ... oh yeah ... that's from my first blog

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MUM!
MISS YOU LOTS!

Margaret
1932 - 2005

Like a wild Irish rose

Modified slightly to suit my childhood memories.

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE...

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION...

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL...

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC...

"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me LOGIC... again

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, don't come crying to me"

My mother taught me FORESIGHT...

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY...

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS...

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM...

"Will you LOOK at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA...

"You'll sit there 'till all that food is finished."

My mother taught me how to RUN ...
"If I have to chase you all over this house, you'll really have something to run for."

My mother taught me more than one use for a BROOM ...
"If I have to use this stick for more than it was meant for."

My mother taught me about WEATHER...

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS...

"If Sally jumped off a bridge does that mean you should too?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY...

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION...

"Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY...

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have all the things that you do!"

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...

"Just wait until your father get's home."

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay that way."

My mother taught me about ESP...

"Don't you know I know what you're thinking?"

My mother taught me HUMOUR...

"When you fall and break your foot, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me how to have a love / hate relationship with food...

"If you don't eat all your dinner, you won't get any dessert."

My mother taught me how to GROW UP...

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you won't get big and strong."

My mother taught me how to LIE AND NOT GET CAUGHT ...
Dad: "Who broke the bed?" Mum: "I did"

My mother taught me about SEX...

"You grew out of my tummy."

My mother taught me about GENETICS...

"You're just like your father."

My mother taught me about SIBLING RIVALRY...

"Why can't you be more like your sister."

My mother taught me about PATIENCE...

"You can get up from there when I tell you I'm good and ready for you to get up from there."

My mother taught me about HISTORY...

"Do you think I was born yesterday?"

My mother taught me about AGING GRACEFULLY...

"When you're as old as I am you'll understand. What we're we talking about?"

My mother taught me about how to ENSURE I ALWAYS HAD AN APPETITE ...

"Don't eat that candy now, you'll spoil your supper."

My mother taught me how TO PARENT ...
"Oh I hope your kids do this to you when you grow up and have your own!"

My mother taught me how TO GRANDPARENT ...
"Oh a little bit of candy won't hurt her!"

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU HOT MAMA BLOGGERS TOO!